My Life As A Teenage Robot Porn Story: Chains Chapter 4
“Jenny,” Tuck says to me,”Listen, I’m sorry for kissing you.”
“Don’t be sorry.” I say,”I should be sorry. You deserve to kiss real girls. Girls that have skin.”
“I have to admit, I do like skin, but I like you more.” He grabs my hand. I remember Brit shoke my hand after I saved her, and Sheldon almost never let go of it after he fixed me, but for the first time in my life, someone has grabbed my hand and I’ve liked it.
“Come back to my house Jenny, I have to give you something.”
***
Tuck still lives next door to where I used to live. He lives alone with no pets or anything. “Tuck, whatever happened to my old house?”
“When died, they thought that you should have it, but everyone thought you were dead, so they tried to track down , but he hasn’t been seen around here in years, so they gave it to her sister. She sold the house with my help, I got a ten percent profit but I only took it because I’m a desperate college student.” He takes me upstairs in to the attic. “I kept this box here, because I thought you would come for it.” He takes out an old cardboard box with the word Wakeman written on the side. “Open it, I’ve been dying to see what’s inside.”
“You never opened it?”
“In will, it said all personal items should be given to you. This was your stuff, I couldn’t bring myself to look through your things.”
I tear through the lid. The first thing I see is a picture album. I open it up. There are pictures from everything. Starting from when she was four minutes old, to when cancer had her so terribly ill, she was eating through a tube and sleeping on a hospital bed. My mother was like that. For four months in a hospital unable to walk to the door, that’s how my strong beautiful mother ended up. I’m crying again. I’ll never stop crying. My tears will flood half the Earth before I ever stop mourning.
“It’s okay Jenny.” Tuck says,”It’s okay to miss her. When I thought you were dead, I sat here in this house crying for days. I never thought I would leave. Then one day, my boss threatens to fire me unless I come, so I hurry up and get the hell out of here.”
There’s a honk from a car outside. I knew I would never forget that sound.
“Jenny!”
I step outside,”Yes Sheldon?”
“I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by.”
“How did you know I was here. Don’t answer that.”
“So, I was thinking that maybe sometime you’d like to get together with me and we could-“
“Sheldon, Stop!” I scream,”I won’t let you do this anymore.”
“Do what?”
“I won’t let you follow me around, or ask me on dates. Don’t you understand? The reason you’re this successful is because I wasn’t there to undirectly distract you. You did great things just using your incredibly smart brain and your crafty hands. Not your stuttering voice or wayward heart. If I ever see you again Sheldon, it will be the end of you.”
“But Jenny-“
“No buts! You have a wife and a child, and they both have loved you more while you were gone these twenty minutes than I ever will in my whole life. Can’t you see it Sheldon, if you really love me just as much as I think you do, you would not have married Tiff. You would have waited forever for me, but I’m glad you didn’t. Please, go and concentrate on your new child. Never again will our two names be used in the same sentence.”
“I’ll always love you.” He says
“A bird cannot love a fish.”
“Jenny, You have to send me off with something.”
I sigh,”I’ll give you this fact Sheldon, you right now, have ten times the amount of love in your life than I’ll ever have again. You’ll always have someone that will listen to you and love you. You will achieve greater honors from Nathaniel than I’ll get from anyone. Never again will you think of me Sheldon, but I will think of you forever and for always.”
He waves me goodbye and walks away.
***
I’m sleeping by myself again. This time in a cozy room with a window, in Tuck’s house. When I’m finally at the most comfortable time in my life of all the past ten years, I cannot sleep. I grab out mom’s box again.
There are alot of books in her box. Her scientific diary which has her log of experiments she created, her address book full of all the places she’s ever lived in her life, her baby book capturing all of her first two years, lastly there’s her diary. I don’t know what to do with it, she can’t get mad if I read it, she’ll never see me again.
Febuary 4th 1937
I lost my first tooth today.
From when she was six, most of the first few entries are written in scraggly hand-writing with too many spelling errors to count.
October 18th 1948
Dad gave me the keys to the car today. I’ve only been begging him for like five hundred years!
Her teenage self sounds a little like me. She talks alot about her love for science.
June 3rd 1950
I’m a free woman now. I graduated High school today and we had a super bitching graduation party. Can’t wait for college. Yale, here I come! With my science projects, they can’t turn me down.
June 5th 1950
I got a rejection letter from Princeton. I can do without those snobby-assed tightwads. But I can’t get rejected from Yale!
June 6th 1950
My worst nightmare has come true. I got rejected from Yale. Where can I go? I have a 2.5 GPA and 1050 on my SAT, no one will let me in. No one!
She seemed really frustrated about college. She must not have gotten very good grades. It sounds like she barely passed High School.
June 8th 1950
I made up my mind on college. There’s this place in California called Tremerton University. I never pictured myself going to a small town college like that, but what choice do I have? They’re the only place that excepted me!
She has a few entries on how she was packing for college and all her friends were going to different colleges.
August 19th 1950
Said goodbye to my folks and my friends. I’m on the train to Tremerton right now. I’ll leave as soon as college is over. I’m not wasting my whole life there.
Later
I just arrived at my dorm. I’m boarding with some Kelly May Jones. I couldn’t care less.
Mom talks about her four years in college.
March 14th 1953
I took a class on robotics. It seems pretty cool, actually.
April 5th 1953
I completed my first robot project. I’m calling it XJ1.
June 21st 1955
I graduated. This place is starting to grow on me, I think I’m gonna try to find a house. A big one, next door to some good people.
June 22nd 1955
I found it, made a payment, and now I have my own place. My neighbors are pretty cool. Some guy and a lady and their baby.
The baby mom talks about must be Brad’s father.
January 18th 1956
I met the man of my dreams today. He’s so tall and he has brown hair. I love him so much.
August 12th 1956
He proposed and I said yes. I’ll be married soon!
August 20th 1956
Our wedding is tomorrow. I don’t know if I can sleep tonight.
She writes so much on her husband, but she never mentions his name.
August 22nd 1956
I am now Elizabeth Ann Wakeman, wife of Roy Jones Wakeman.
That’s his name! I can call city hall and they can give the house to him and-
Or maybe not. Maybe Mom doesn’t want him to have anything that was hers. Mom wants me to have all this. She wants me to remember her. She wants us to be together in the greatest way possible.
December 7th 1998
I started to create my latest robot, XJ9.
That’s me!
August 29th 1999
She’s alive! XJ9 can walk, talk, think for herself and thousands of other things. She’s my teenage robot.
She writes about me more than anything. I never really grasped how much she loved me.
May 23rd 2003
I have not seen XJ9 since she went to fight the cluster making mayhem on the other side of town. She better not be with a boy, unless it’s that wonderful child Sheldon.
Mom! You actually thought that?
May 25th 2003
It’s been days since I’ve seen XJ9. Where could she be? If she were back I’d call her Jenny, that’s all she wanted.
She was very worried about me. She would have done anything to have me back. I feel the same way about her right now, it’s ironic, really.
May 30th 2003
For a week XJ9 has been missing. The whole town is in shreds. She was our savior, it was as if she was heaven-sent!
June 1st 2003
They’ve given my beautiful daught XJ9 up for dead. Oh, how I miss her!
November 21st 2003
Today I was diagnosed with cancer in my colon. I have no strength to write.
February 2nd 2004
I’m starting kemotherapy, and not feeling any better. Groundhogs day.
There are no more entries. I know that mom died about a month later. There’s a trifolded piece of paper slipped between the next two pages. It’s a letter to me.
My Dearest Daughter Jennifer,
You were the most beautiful creature on this Earth. You were years ahead of your time. How could I not have given you everything you asked for? I too have made mistakes in my life. I do not wish to mention them here, I only wish that you will read this and know I loved you. I always had you saving the world, I enclosed you in your room. Outside of chores you never did anything. Why you put up with me I don’t know. I’ve read Rapunzel, I should never have done what I did. For all I know, you’re dead. I may just be speaking to myself. Telling myself I didn’t mean my last words to you. “XJ9! Take care of this mess downtown this instant young lady!” And you said,”Okay mom.” Our last conversation! I wish I could speak to you. I wish I was able to see you. It must have hurt you so badly when I disapproved all the time. Now that you’re gone I understand! For all my labors I got you for a daughter. I didn’t deserve to have you. All I wanted was the fame. I saw the headlines as I created you, ‘Local Scientist Creates World-Saving Robot!’. I did not think that I would have to actually deal with feelings. I thought I would be a hero. You made me a hero, not like I thought I would be, but I still felt important. Your dependance upon me was the greatest gift I ever received. I could not have asked for anything better in my life.
Love Your Mother,
Right now I feel inside me a burning heat. I feel a warmth in my heart. One that isn’t dying, I feel mom’s life inside of me. She isn’t dead for real, it’s all in my head. She’s here and she’s inside of me. It does not matter, the words I never said, or the truths I never told, she knows that I was to her as paintings were to Van Gogh.
***
The next chapter will be the fifth and last. I would like to add that I have started a yahoo group, the link is on my author’s page. Just click the thing on top that says La Miseria Y La Muerte (that’s my pen name!) and there should be a link. Please join!