My Life As A Teenage Robot Porn Story: Chains Chapter 8
Who am I kidding, I can’t fly or rip things apart like I used to be able to do. There are a lot of things that I couldn’t do before, though. Breathe, eat, lots of stuff. I have no regrets, right?
***
Coffee this morning was a bummer. I didn’t say anything, really.
“Jenny, I’m real sorry about last night.”
“S’okay” But it’s not.
“I’ll make it up to you.”
“You don’t have to.” Yes he does.
“Dinner, tonight. Just you and me.”
“I’m fine.” I’m not.
He kisses me on the cheek and he’s gone for work.
***
If so many people live this way, then why is it so bad? Why do I feel like I’m being taken advantage of? Why does it seem like no one cares about my feelings? Why am I so miserable if this is what I asked for?
The phone rings.
“Hello?”
“May I speak to Jenny?”
“This is.”
“Jenny…it’s Sheldon.”
Oh dear god!
***
I’m going over to visit Sheldon, casserole in hand. I’m knocking on the door.
“Jenny?”
“Hi Sheldon, can I come in?”
“Sure.” He says. I can tell he’s still in love.
I take my first step in. He’s not rich anymore, I wonder why not. Lee Homes isn’t a business anymore, and he’s not married to Tiff. There’s no Nathaniel either. What happened to him? He’s jobless, poor and broken.
“I’m glad you’re here Jenny, I have to tell you something.” He says.
“I brought you a casserole.”
“That’s great, but I need to tell you this, right now.”
It’s probably a plea not to marry Tuck. I hope he doesn’t start crying.
“Jenny…” He hesitates,”Well, money’s kinda tight and I don’t think I can rent a Tux for the wedding.”
What?
“So, if I could just borrow one of Tuck’s…”
“Hold it, you’re not gonna beg me not to marry Tuck?”
“No.”
“You’re not gonna start pleading about how you love me so much!”
“No.”
“You’re not gonna crawl on your knees and pray for my hand in marriage!”
“No, why would I do that?”
“Because you’ve been in total and complete lust with me for ten years!”
“No I haven’t.”
I’m shocked. Sheldon loved XJ9, not Jennifer Wakeman. How shallow!
“You’d love me if I was a robot.” I tell him.
“What are you talking about?”
“Forget it!” I stomp out the door. “I’ll give Tuck the message.” I slam the door closed.
“Uh…thanks?”
***
“I can’t believe it!” I shout as I walk in. “Sheldon doesn’t love me anymore! That is so shallow!”
“So now that you don’t have him, you want him?”
A mysterious voice! I’m looking around. “Who said that?”
“Jenny, you don’t remember me?”
“Why are you in my house?”
“I made you who you are today!”
“Mother?”
“I turned you into a human!”
“Oh dear God! You’re that super-being.”
“No, I’m just capable of all things.”
“Are you going to kill me?”
“I’m not a barbarian.”
I’m afraid. “What do you want from me? Am I a bad human? Please let me stay this way!”
“You can be whoever you want Jenny Wakeman.”
I hesitate. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes you may.”
“Why doesn’t Sheldon love me?”
He sighs. “Love is so complex. I know everything there is to know anywhere, but love? How can you write love in a pen, or speak it in words? How can you make or understand love?”
“Is Sheldon shallow?”
“No, not shallow. There must have been something about you before that you don’t have now.”
The skin on my hands, how evil is it? “I remember when I first met him. I had this screw loose, this one right-” I’m about to point to it when I remember it was replaced my bone tissue. “Oh, yeah. Anyway, I remember I went to get it repaired. The shop teacher asked Sheldon to do it. He was getting beat up by some bullies so I took care of them and then-” I gasp. That’s it!! “Sheldon didn’t love me because I was a robot. He loved me because I was brave! At least XJ9 was brave. I’m just a coward in someone else’s skin.”
“I would not have given such a prestiguous honor to a coward. Everything you have you earned with hard work and nothing short of that.”
“He was so broken and cold. Why isn’t he rich anymore?”
“That I know. When was trying to create a new robot to save the world, she blew a hole in her wall. She knew how depressed Sheldon was about losing you, so she decided to give him the work to try and cheer him up. After he finished fixing the wall, she complimented his worksmanship and asked him if he’d ever thought about home building before. He hadn’t before, but he did alot after that.”
“So my being a robot affected everyone around me. It’s like a chain reaction.” I pause. “What ever happened to Brit and Tiff?”
He hesitates. “It’s a long story.”
“I got time.”
“You, Brit and Tiff were best friends.”
“We were?”
“Yes. If anyone’s shallow, they are.”
I feel ashamed.
“One day, Brit thought it would be funny to stick honey in Tiff’s hair. You laughed at the idea, not the fact that it actually happened.”
“I did?”
“Yes. Tiff didn’t know about it at first, but while she was walking home, she got stung by two bees.”
“So?”
“She’s allergic to bee stings.”
I’m very pale.
“She went to the doctor, but it ended up being to late. They said it was a combination of the bee stings, and not taking her allergy medicine.”
I shook my head. “It’s all my fault. If I hadn’t laughed…”
“Jenny, this was you before you got control.”
I look up. “How did all this happen before I got control?”
“Do you remember when you turned into a human?”
“Yeah. I’ll never forget.”
“Well, millions of decisions ran straight through your mind in a split second. The outcome was fuzzy, but it was good enough.”
I feel sick. “I killed Tiff. I’m a murderer!”
“Calm down, Brit did the dirty work.”
I’m crying. “I influenced her.”
“Do you want to know what happened to Brit?”
“Yes.”
“She married Don.”
“Really?”
“On the night Tuck proposed to you, Don had the same plan. He’d been in love with since High School. You had gone out with him, but dumped him after a few months. He was a wreck after the break-up, and he planned to marry you as soon as possible.”
“I dumped Don Prima?”
“Yes you did.”
“Am I crazy?!”
“You’re just madly in love with Tuck.”
I guess it’s true. I feel love right now.
“Don turned to desparity and took advantage of the drunken Brit. He married her privately.
“Man, they must have been wasted.”
“They divorced a couple years ago.”
“They’re both still alive?”
“Yes, but rather beat up healthwise.”
It’s at this moment I turn to the left, facing the mirror on the wall. I expected to see my blonde human self staring back at me, but I saw XJ9, the robot instead. “Oh my god!” I scream. “Why is she my reflection?”
“Jenny, you can’t hide from yourself. Tuck may not know, Brad may not know, but you know. You know who are on the inside, and you can’t hide from yourself.”
“Would you change me back into a robot if I wanted you to?”
“I would, but I don’t think you’d want to.”
“I’ll put some thought into it.”
***
I put alot of thought into it, six months of thought. Even while I was planning my wedding XJ9 was in my head. It’s funny how she’s XJ9 and I’m Jennifer Wakeman, but we’re both the same.
It’s not like I meant to think of her, or me, whoever XJ9 is. Every time I looked at my reflection she would be there, looking right back at me. Every time I would look down at my hands to make sure they were still made of skin and flesh and they were, every time. Several times I even cut myself to make sure I still had blood in me.
It was hard picking out a dress. Whenever I looked in the mirror XJ9 would be there, whenever he styled my hair she was there, he always asked me how I liked it, and I never knew. I wish she would go away, I wish she would leave me and Tuck alone. It’s not as if she was intruding, she just stood there. She never goes away. Even now, on the day of my wedding, she’s in the church mirror.
“Are you ready for this?” Brit, my maid of honor, asks me.
“Yea, I’m ready.” I say. I wish Tiff could be here.
“Hey Jenny.”
“Brad!” I scream,”What are you doing here?”
“Hey, I’m just the best man, not the groom. I get to take a look, don’t I?”
I giggle. “Oh, you go talk to Tuck, I’m sure he’s nervous.”
“Tuck? Nervous? He’s way beyond nervous, Jen. The kids afraid of giant wheels, for pete’s sake! Marriage is gonna have him melted into his shoes.” Brad tips his hat,”G’day m’ladies.” Then he leaves.
Brit laughs. “You know, all of us always expected you and Brad to go out and then get married.”
“You did?” I say, in shock. “Gosh, I never even thought about it.”
“It’s true, you two were the ‘will they won’t they’ couple of Tremerton High. People always talked about it.”
“How come I didn’t know about this?”
“Oh please, who was going to tell you? Sheldon?”
I laugh, nervously.
I hear something snap. “Oh damnit all, I broke a nail. Excuse me while I go fix this.” Brit leaves.
XJ9 is looking back at me in the mirror. She’s wearing my veil and my dress. “What do you want?” I ask her. She just stares at me. “Well, what is it?” I ask again. “Don’t look so fed up with me, you always wanted Tuck, too. I know you did, I am you! You can’t blame me for liking him, he’s so wonderful. When I’m not with him, I really want to be right next to him.”
There’s a knock on the door.
“Come in.” I say.
“Jenny?” It’s Sheldon.
“Hi Sheldon.”
“Jen, I just wanted to say thanks for borrowing me the tux, and not telling anyone about my rough times.”
“It’s fine, really.” I turn to him. “Sheldon, are you sure that you’re okay that me and Tuck are getting married?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be okay with it?”
“Never mind.”
“Thanks again.” He leaves.
It’s funny how I miss him. I thought he was the most annoying little geek ever, but now I miss his annoying-ness.
Brit comes back. “I fixed it as best I could, as long as I don’t have to put the ring on your finger I’ll be okay.”
I laugh, it’s an out of place laugh, but I’m really nervous.
“Jenny, come on.” Brad whispers through the door.
“Oh my god! It’s time!” I rush down the stairs to right outside of the entrance.
“Remember what we rehearsed.” Brit whispers as she walks up the aisle.
As soon as all the bridesmaids and ushers and even Mary Ann, the flower girl, walk up that long aisle, it’s my turn.
The music swells, the people stare, I’m soaked in my own sweat, but I know I’ll be all right. Tuck would never let anything bad happen to me. Me?
I remember one of mom’s last words to me. She said,”XJ9, sometimes it’s not all about you.”
I never took her words seriously before, but now they make sense. Some people can spend their whole lives making themselves happy, but all those people around you that are poor, heart-broken, betrayed, unappreciated or suffering, will bring you down back to where you started. With all the people around you that would like a new start, or better luck, or something. You can give them nothing. I can though.
I realized it now. Sheldon is poor because I’m not a robot. Brad is in an unloving relationship. Tuck is neglectful now. Don and Brit were miserable. Tiff is dead. Everyone’s miserable and even I’m questioning things so often now. Saving the Earth and protecting mankind just seems like a better path to go down than this aisle in a church.
I wish I could tell Tuck just how much I love him first, but he knows. He’ll be fine without me, I know he will.
I stare up at the ceiling. “Are you there?” I shout, people watching me.
“Yes,” He answers,”What is it?”
So many eyes watching me.
“I love you, Tuck!”
“I love you too, Jenny.”
“Please! Turn me into a robot again!”
I’m in the space I was when I turned into a human. I never got a real feel of it before. It’s vast, cold and dark. Why isn’t anything happening?
“XJ9, or Jenny, you have to make a decision. I can only bend the laws of nature a few times, but you must decide. Skin or metal.”
Closing my eyes. “There comes a time in every person’s life, when they have to choose who they are. I choose to be XJ9 the teenage robot.”
I said it, so therefore I am.
***
HOLD IT!!! I WANT TO KNOW THE ENDING!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO STOP HERE!!!! NOOOOO!!!! EVEN I’M MAD AT THE SUSPENSE!!