My Life As A Teenage Robot Porn Story: Diamonds Are a Robots Best Friend – Chapter 4

Diamonds Are a
Robots Best Friend

A My Life as a
Teenage Robot Fanfic

Chapter Four The
Right Side of the Popularity Fence

Brad paid for his lunch, but he was too worked up to even
think about eating.P He had to find
Jenny and show her his discovery about her bosss supposedly trusted
robot.P Brad grabbed his tray and
scanned the crowd in the cafeteria.P It
wasnt exactly hard to find Jenny just look for a table with one solitary
metal teenager sitting at it.P And there
it was except this time the metal teenager didnt have pigtails.

Brad! shouted Drew, looking up from a copy of the school
paper.P Come on over.P Plenty of good seats available.

Brad sat down across from him.P Drew!P Hey, I didnt
expect to see you here.

Yeah, I usually dont eat, but I decided to pack a lunch
today.

Thats great, because Ive got something P Brad paused for moment.P Hey, how come youre going with the natural
look today?P Gray and green stripes sort
of sticks out in a crowd.P You were
doing the camouflage thing pretty well you looked just like your old self.

Drew gave Brad a sarcastic grin, and held up the school
paper.P Page five sported a replica of
the Drew-splattered-on-a-bus-windshield picture from the Tremorton
Tribune.P The one that Brad had
taken.P This picture is stuck on every
bulletin board in school.P I dont think
theres really much point in the camouflage thing anymore.P Hey theres a caption-writing
contest.P My best so far is Dang, the
mosquitoes are big this year!P What do
you think?

Not bad, said Brad.P
Mine was Gumby forgot to look both ways before crossing.P Anyways, as I was saying Ive got
something important to show you and Jenny.P
Have you seen her around?

Nope.P Shes usually
here by now.P I thought you two shared
Math in third period?

Yeah, we do, but Brad stopped again, as Drew lifted up a
heavy plastic bag and dropped it on the table with a loud, rattling clunk.

What the heck is that?!?

Like I said, its my lunch, said Drew.P I havent eaten in a couple of days.P Drew reached into his lunch bag, pulled
out a handful of steel rivets, and started popping them in his mouth, like
popcorn.

Brads faced twisted into a bizarre expression.P Umm shouldnt you be chewing
those?

Nah, they just melt in my mouth, explained Drew, tossing
in another rivet.P Literally.P You know, nanobots, rearranging atoms, all
that good nano-stuff.

Whatever.P Anyway,
Ive got big news, grinned Brad.P
Ive got a lead on a story for my Career Week project thats gonna blow
everyone away.P This is not only
an A-plus, theyll probably give me one of them Pulitzer prizes, too.P When Jenny sees this, shes gonna freak!

Jenny walked up just then, carrying a tray with her usual
lightweight motor oil.P Hey there guys
– when I see what, Brad?

Just the person I wanted to see, said Brad, smiling
theatrically.P He pulled out a brown
manila envelope and laid it on the table.P
If youll have a seat?

Jenny sat next to Drew with a quizzical expression, silently
asking: so whats the deal?P Drew
just shrugged.P Brad had been trying to
talk to her all morning long, but shed been having fun yakking with her new
girlfriends almost nonstop.P All right
Brad, she chuckled, youve finally got my undivided attention.P So whats with all the drama?

Ladies and gentlemen I give you the Marquis Jewelry store
bandit.P Brad pulled a photograph out
of the envelope and flipped it over for everyone to see.

Jenny and Drew exchanged a glace, unimpressed.P Uh, Brad, Jenny replied, I caught that
guy.P About a minute after he robbed the
store, remember?P Okay, technically,
he blew himself up.P But I got the
diamonds back.P End of story.P She laughed.P Youll notice that I am not freaking.

Brad folded his arms, smiling confidently.P Then explain the photo.P Check the reflection in the window.

Drew was actually the first to notice.P That sort of looks like that big robot that
hangs around with your boss, Jenny.P You
know your limo driver, he chuckled.

Jenny tapped her chin, a little more interested now.P Hmmm, it does sort of look like
Rojack.P And it looks like hes watching
me chase the robot bandit.

And he is holding a remote control, announced Brad.P I think we can all see where this is
leading.P Maximillian Marquis, the
richest man in Tremorton, was robbed by his very own personal robot
assistant!P Rojack was controlling that
black-and-red robot by remote control.P
Betraying the trust of his employer to satisfy his own greed.P I knew there was something rotten
about that guy!P Remember the nasty look
he gave us yesterday, Drew?P That was
because he recognized us from the crime scene!

Oh, come on, Brad! groaned Jenny.P Rojack isnt like that at all!P Sure, hes not exactly Mister Personality
actually, it kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies just standing around
him.P But hes completely loyal to Mr.
Marquis!P He may be creepy, but
hes not a thief.

Completely loyal, huh?P
Brad rubbed his chin, thinking aloud.P
So then maybe Maximillian Marquis ordered him to steal the diamonds!P Oh, wow, this is even bigger than I
thought!P He steals his own diamonds,
gets rich off of the insurance money, and laughs all the way to the bank.P I can see the headline now!P Student Reporter Uncovers Maximillian
Marquis in Insurance Fraud!

All right, now youre just being crazy.P Gets rich off of the insurance money?P Hes already a billionaire!P Look, Ill admit that looks like Rojack
standing on the roof.P But that doesnt
mean anything!P That thing hes holding
could be anything.P It could be a
radio.P Maybe he was just listening to
some music!P Robots do listen to
music, you know.P I listen to
music.P Drew listens to music, right?

Yeah, but I probably dont count.P It was a little hard to understand him with
his mouth full.P Drew was munching on a
shard of broken glass.

Now Jenny and Brad were both giving Drew a perplexed
look.P On the table in front of him sat
more steel rivets, pieces of broken glass, copper tubing, a small bag of
charcoal, and a dozen old computer circuit boards.P Drew picked up a circuit board, started eating it like it was a
piece of pizza, and noticed them staring at him.

What?!? he protested, shrugging his shoulders.P Its iron, silicon, copper, carbon
periodic table pot luck.P My nanobots
use all of this stuff.

Jenny shook her head and continued.P Anyway, as I was saying, that picture
doesnt prove anything.P Rojack
could have been up there for any number of reasons.

Maybe so, smiled Brad.P
In that case, you can ask him yourself when you see him again
tonight.

Ohhhhhh, no, she said, wagging her finger at Brad.P If you want to cook up some ridiculous
story for your assignment, be my guest.P
Go look for Bigfoot, or something.P
But dont drag me into it!P And
dont make up any goofy stories about Maximillian Marquis.P This job he gave me is the best thing
thats ever happened, and I dont want anything to mess it up before tomorrow
night!

Whats so special about tomorrow night? asked Drew as he
sucked on a tube of bathtub caulking.

Its the big Diamond Exposition up at Mr. Marquis
mansion, Jenny smiled.P Everybodys
going to be dressed up in fancy clothes, tuxedos and dresses.P People from all around the world will be
there, eating fancy food and talking about fancy things.P And Mr. Marquis says that Im going to be
the star of the show.P She wriggled in
her seat.P Ohhh, I cant wait!P Ive been getting my modeling
training and everybody there is being so nice to me.

Pfffft.P Model
training, huffed Brad.P How hard can
it be to just stand there?

I have to have poise and grace, Jenny huffed
right back.P Its a lot more work than
you think, but Mr. Marquis says that Im a natural.P You know, its going to be nice to forget about crime-fighting
and saving the world for one night. PEveryones going to be watching me, taking my picture with all
those beautiful diamonds you know, maybe this Career Week thing isnt so bad
after all.P Who knows?P Maybe Ill become a world-famous model!

Uh-oh, Brad said to Drew.P
You know, if you watch really close, you can actually see her
head getting bigger.P Drew fought back
a chuckle.

Jenny folded her arms across her chest, angrily.P Big head, huh?P Sounds to me like you two are just jealous of my great new
career.P Youre just fetching coffee for
a bunch of newspaper hacks, she said, pointing at Brad.P And youre just P what in the world are you doing?

Ive been there two days, and Im still not sure, Drew
answered, rolling his eyes.P It
involves a lot of filing.

Thats what I thought.P
Well then, you two can just forget about being invited to Mr.
Marquis mansion.P He told me that I
could bring a couple of friends.

Thats just what wed like to talk to you about,
said a swooning British accent, Jenny, old pal!

Their isolated table of three suddenly started to crowd
over, as a riot of girls formed around their table, giggling and talking and
causing a commotion.P And they were
being led by none other than Brit, Tiff, and the exclusive clique of popular
girls, all wearing the friendliest faces you could imagine.P Soon the table was filled to overflowing,
surrounded wih a ring of standing room only.P
Jenny sat amazed, as the highest layer of the Tremorton High School
social order circled around her like a drones around a queen bee.

Brad and Drew were nearly crushed themselves, not that
either one of them minded that much.

Hey there, Brad grinned to one of the cheerleaders.P All he got in response was an upturned nose
and a hmmmph.

Uhh hi, Drew gulped nervously, as Jantrice squeezed
in between him and Jenny.

She gave him a strange look.P Are you eating garbage?

No!P Drews face
dulled to a paler shade of gray.P
Maybe.

Never mind that, purred Brit, were all just dying
to hear about Jennys fascinating new job, arent we girls?P The crowd nodded their heads with a chorus
of you-bet and uh-huh.P
Were all so very thrilled for you, Jenny darling.P To think that one of our very own homegirls
is modeling for Maximillian Marquis, why, its the most fantastic thing Ive
ever heard of!P You simply must tell us
all about it.

You said it! Tiff chimed in.P We wanna hear every last little detail.P Dish, girlfriend.

R-really? gasped Jenny, basking in the attention.P You girls want to hear about my modeling
job?

Tell us all about working with all those models, grinned
Stephanie.

Tell us all about being surrounded by those gorgeous diamonds,
swooned Pteresa.

For Petes sake, whats the big deal about diamonds
already? said Drew, rolling his eyes.P
Theyre just really expensive rocks.P
Chunks of carbon, like like this charcoal.

Drew grabbed a piece of charcoal from his lunch and closed
his fist around it.P A faint hummm-schlorp
sound filled the air, and Drews hand shimmered silver-green.P A few seconds later, Drew opened his fist,
revealing a sparkling, milky white diamond.

Everyone at the table was stunned, and Jantrice grabbed the
diamond out of Drews hand.P Wow! she
squealed with delight.P Its really a
diamond!P Look at it sparkle!

Drew drummed his fingers on the table nervously.P Ah you might want to give that back

But now the girls were mooning over the diamond, ooohing
and ahhing.P Can I keep
it?P Make another one!P Make one for me!

Drew grew more nervous.P
No, I cant.P Ummm you
see

Suddenly the diamond shuddered slightly, and with a soft
yellow flash, poof, it disintegrated into a fine gray ash.P Several girls got ash all over their hands,
faces, and trendy clothes, and as quickly as they had warmed to Drew, the girls
were now furious with him Jenny included.

That wasnt a very funny joke! growled Jenny.

B-but it wasnt a joke!P
I didnt do that on purpose!P I
was just showing you, carbon is carbon.P
Look, if I could turn charcoal into diamonds permanently, do you
think Id still be going to school?

Never mind Android, Jenny dear, hes had his little fun,
cooed Brit.P Now she was practically
fawning over Jenny.P Now tell us about
the real diamonds.P You know, the ones
thatll be at the big show tomorrow night.P
I imagine they must so very beautiful.P
I certainly wish that I could go see them

Connie couldnt contain herself any longer.P Jenny, take me to the diamond show, and
Ill give you my new purse!

Take me, and Ill do your homework for a month! shouted
Pteresa.

Shes a robot, growled Brit, it takes her ten seconds
to do her homework.P Take me, Jenny, and
I will personally guarantee that you will be popular for the rest of the
school year.

Brad finally flung his arms into the air.P For crying out loud!P Jenny, these are the same girls who treat
you like dirt all week long.P As soon as
your big modeling gig is over tomorrow night, theyll throw you away like an
old soda can!P Cant you see that?!?

Jenny crossed her arms and glared at Brad.P So Im an old soda can now, am I?

Brad slapped his forehead.P
Thats not what I said!

Look, you two are wasting valuable real estate here!
grumbled Stephanie.P Arms shot out of
the crowd of girls, grabbed Brad and Drew by the shoulders, and pulled them out
of their seats.P The ladies were very
serious about a chance at a scarce invitation to a billionaires ball.P Brad landed on the floor ten feet away, with
his Rojack photograph in his hands.P
Drew clanked down next to him, with the rest of his lunch bag tossed
at his feet.

Girls, girls, smiled Jenny, motioning for her new crowd of
admirers to calm down.P Theres no need
for that sort of thing.P Were all
civilized here.P Now, Im very flattered
by all the attention, and I wish I could take all of you to the diamond show
tomorrow night!P A sly smile started to
grow on her face.P But, of course, I
can only take two.P I honestly just
dont know how Im going to decide.

There was a few seconds silence, and then Ill give you
my new CD player!

Ill carry your backpack for you!

Ill invite you to my next house party!

As the noise grew, Brad and Drew slowly shook their heads,
looked over their shoulders at the bidding war, then looked at each other.

Uhhh what just happened here? asked Drew.

Something is rotten in the state of Tremorton, grumbled
Brad, and I intend to find out what it is.P
Jenny said that I didnt have any proof that Maximillian Marquis is up
to some monkey business.P Well, Im not
giving up just yet!P Were going to get
some proof.P The motto of the Tremorton
Tribune is, Nothing must stop the pursuit of the truth!P Were going to pursue that truth tonight
after work.P Yessirree, tonight, Drew,
you and I are going to return to the scene of the crime!

We!?!P What
do you mean, we?P What the heck
are we supposed to do there?

Were gonna snoop around the roof of Marquis Diamonds, and
look for clues.

Clues? sneered Drew.P You wanna get together with Scooby and Shaggy, and ride over in
the Mystery Machine?

Ive got something better than that. Brad smiled, and put
his arm on Drews shoulder.P Ive got
my good, good friend and his freaky robot abilities.

Oh, thats just pathetic, Drew said, rolling his
eyes.P Jenny might be able to get away
with a line like that, but what makes you think I want to sneak around on a
rooftop with you after work tonight?

Because were friends.P
And because if you dont, Ill go by myself, and youll worry about me
getting into trouble and embarrassing Jenny.P
And because youre bored out of your mind at your Career Week job,
filing stuff all afternoon.P And because
youve got nothing better to do.

Drew thought for a moment, and sighed.P Man, youre good at this.

Brad grinned.P Where
do you think Tuck gets it from?”

Continued in Chapter
Five

A/N:P The story has
been a little slow so far, but things pick up in the next chapter.P Trust me!