My Life As A Teenage Robot Porn Story: Luck of the Devil Chapter 1

“How could this have happened!?”

I screamed so loudly that the windows around me shattered and fell away like leaves in the fall. I was drowning in a huge vat of oil and everyone I knew was there. Brad, Trent, Sheldon.. Even my mom! Everyone was standing around just staring.. no one was helping. Meanwhile, Queen Vexus was laughing it up.

“Youre finished now, XJ9!”

I woke up to the alarm. The nightmare still stuck in my head, and my engines were really racing. Id fallen out of bed in my sleep.. again. Calming myself down, I stood up, yawned, and stretched my arms as far as they would go without smashing through the ceiling. A quick look in the mirror, and I was on my way to school. It was the most normal day you could ever imagine. The same things happened, the same people said Hi and the same cool people ignored me completely. Sheldon annoyed me on the way to my locker. The usual.

The strange things didnt start happening until homeroom. Felicia, one of the girls in my class, sat next to me. Wed been partners on projects before and we say hello on occasion, but she usually doesnt talk to me much, because shes one of the cooler kids in school.

“Hey, Jenny.”

“Hi.”

“I just wanted to ask you about something.. You hang out with that Sheldon kid, right?”

I rolled my eyes. Here we go again. Someone else picking on me about Sheldon. Well as long as it wasnt Don Prima, I didnt mind.

“Yeah, look.. Hes a huge geek, but hes really sweet. More people should give him a chance. I think youre all really mean to him.”

“Well thats what I wanted to ask you about..”

She twirled a pink pigtail around her fingers as she spoke.

“Do you think hed like go out with me?”

My mouth fell open.

“Sheldon? Greasy hair Sheldon? Pale zombie-skin Sheldon? Pimple-faced Sheldon?”

“Um.. thats the one, I guess.”

“I think hed go out with anyone!”

I was still trying to cope with the weirdness at lunch, when I saw Felicia and Sheldon talking. I could tell by the twirling of pigtails and the awkward shifting that she must have been asking him out. I could tell by the drool and the blushing that he said yes. Brad sat across from me, stuffing his face with Jell-O.

“Whats up with you? You look ecstatic.”

“Ive finally solved my Sheldon problem,” I pointed across the lunch room to where the new couple was giggling and chatting it up. “Felicia Meadows is his new girlfriend!”

Brad looked crestfallen, “One of the prettiest girls in school is dating that geek? Oh, man..”

By the end of the day I was still 100% Sheldon free. I hadnt been bothered by a single one of his nerdy science jokes, new inventions, or invitations to hang out. And I have to say it felt great!

Ive always wished hed just go away and leave me alone and stop smothering me in all his greasy gross nerd attention. I just felt sorry for him all this time, thats all.

The next morning, I felt more popular already. The absence of Sheldon following me around made me more confident. So much so, that when Don Prima strutted past my locker, I actually said “Hi” loud enough for him to hear. He turned around.

“Oh.. Hi.. um..”

“Jenny.”

“Jenny, right. Hey, like.. what are you doing Friday night at eight?”

Gulp.. Was he.. could he be.. would he be asking me out!?

“Yes! I I mean nothing! Im not doing anything, Don!”

“Good. Then come with me to a party.. at my house. My parents are out of town.”

He winked and walked off. I watched him until he disappeared from view. By then , the tardy bell had rang and I was late. But I didnt care. Lady Luck had finally come my way, and Id never felt better. Now if only Friday would hurry up.

Brad and I sat together in the lunch room. I waved across the room to Don Prima, but he must not have seen me because he didnt wave back. Surely he wouldnt be ignoring his date to the party, right?

“Let me get this straight,” Brad tapped his chin with his fingers.

“Youre going out with the richest guy in town and Sheldon is going out with Felicia Meadows?”

“Yeah, its a little strange, isnt it? But I think my bad luck streak is finally over!”

I sipped on some oil that Mom had packed for me in a thermos for lunch.

“Actually, it sounds more like hell has frozen over. Something really strange is going on here, Jenny. I mean really, just look at em.”

I followed his gaze to the table behind us where Felicia was clinging to Sheldons arm and giggling.

“Tell me that joke again! You know.. the one about Sodium Carbonate?”

I turned my head back around and shrugged.

“Maybe shes into computer nerds.”

But then, I couldnt help but feel a little strange. Sheldon getting so much attention? And hes not even talking to me anymore.. He didnt even walk me home from school yesterday.

Maybe something strange was going on. Maybe it was an alien invasion!

“Well,” I sighed, “Whatever it is, it seems to be working out in my favor!”

Or is it..?