My Life As A Teenage Robot Porn Story: Crashdance Chapter 4
Crashdance
A My Life as a
Teenage Robot Fanfic
Chapter Four Im
Just a Love Machine
Sheldon beamed with satisfaction, enjoying the utter
astonishment on every face in the gym. He walked arm in arm with Helena through
the crowd.P All eyes were riveted on his
supermodel-class date; the boys with drool practically flowing off of their
chins, the girls with seething fires of jealousy in their eyes.P Quite remarkable, he thought to
himself, but ultimately unimportant.P
After all, Im only interested in one girls reaction here tonight.
A tall, handsome senior from the football team swaggered up
to them, looking down at Sheldon with contempt.P He flipped the lapel of Sheldons jacket with a sneer.P Get a load of dorkmeister here, guys, he
chortled.P His mommy dressed him up,
and he thinks hes hot stuff!
Sheldon grimaced; he was a frequent target of the football
jocks.P Dont you have something better
to do?
The senior just chuckled arrogantly, and slid up to Helena,
running his eyes up and down her knockout figure.P Whats the deal, baby?P
Are you his cousin?P His
babysitter?P Or did you lose a bet?
She turned to face the jock.P My Sheldon is twice the man you are, she said with a
cold stare.
Oooh, spunky one, isnt she? he laughed.P Why dont you lose the nerd, and Ill show
you how much of a man I really am, doll.P He grabbed Helena by the hand
And she squeezed back, hard.P The jocks face writhed in agony, as his hand crackled and
crunched like a bag of potato chips.P
Then she pulled him off of his feet and flipped him over her head.P He slammed into a basketball goal, and sunk
down into the netting, teetering on unconsciousness.
The crowd gasped, and Helena collected herself, turning back
to Sheldon.P He said such nasty things
about you! PYoure the most wonderful
man a girl could ever have, sweetie
Heh-heh um not only beautiful, but she exercises every
day, folks, said Sheldon, tugging nervously at the collar of his shirt.
Sweetie sweetie sweetie sweetie
Uh-oh.P Better
move fast.P Sheldon rushed Helena
towards the restrooms, running as quickly as they could through the mass of
curious onlookers.P Just a eh minor
emergency here, folks!P Um something
stuck in her throat.P Can we get
excuse me can we just squeeze thats it.P
Pardon me!P They finally made
their way through the crowd, and arrived at the restrooms; but that wasnt what
he was looking for.P Janitors
closet!P Bingo!
Sweetie sweetie sweetie sweetie
Sheldon zipped into the closet, pulled Helena in, and locked
the door behind them.P Whew, he
gasped, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead.P That was close!P All
right, nothing to worry about its just a minor hiccup I know just what you
need.
He felt around the back of her head, and pressed a small
button.P With sharp crack and a hiss of
air, Helenas back opened up revealing her insides to be filled with
motors, pistons, gears and hoses, all housed in a sturdy steel frame.P The stunningly beautiful Helena was a robot,
perhaps the most impressive creation ever to come out of Sheldons garage
though right now, there seemed to be a problem with the language circuits.P Sheldon pulled a small tool kit from his
jacket pocket, and started fiddling with the wires leading up to Helenas head.
Sweetie sweetie swee-bloop! Speech module
reset!P Helenas eyes glazed over, and
her head slumped to one side.
Sheldon inspected the microchips on her circuit boards.P Man, I sure wish Id had more time to give
you a test run!P Twenty-four hours is a
pretty hectic deadline for a project like this, even for a genius of my
caliber.P But Ill have you back up and
running in no time.
Sheldon, you are so wonderful, she cooed in an overly
sweet voice, while the sound of a ratchet wrench reverberated from her
belly.P Youre the only guy for me!
Oh, you only need to act like that in the gym, robot, he
said, focusing on a pair of loose cables.P
Hmmm, Im not sure about some of this wiring up by the brain but
itll have to do for now.P Sheldon
tightened a few last bolts, and closed the panel on Helenas back.P It sealed shut, without a trace of a seam in
her silcone-based artificial skin.P
Ahem Helena, run a level one diagnostic!
Working, she purred.P
A stream of numbers flashed by in her eyeballs for a few seconds.P All systems are functioning just super
Sheldy-poo!
Sheldy-poo?!?P I
dont remember programming that into your vocabulary database.P You know what?P I like it!P Youre doing a
great job pretending to be in love with me, robot!P He rubbed his hands together, barely able to contain his
excitement.P When Jenny sees us
together, and thinks that Ive got a beautiful girlfriend whos crazy about me
she is going to be so jealous!P
Just like that magazine said!P
His eyes started to cloud over.P
And then shell come chasing after me, and we can be together forever.
Sheldon put his tools away and smoothed back his hair.P All right, it sounds like the dance is
starting.P Lets put on a good show for
Jenny!P He unlocked the door, and
walked out of the janitors closet.
Helena paused for a moment, and her eyes glowed a dull,
angry red.P Jenny? she growled.P Grrrrr!P
Then she snapped back to normal, and ran after Sheldon, sliding her
robotic hand through his arm.
The students whooped and hollered as the DJ played the
latest number one song, pumping up the bass to fill the gym with a steady thump-thump-thump.P It was impossible not to dance to, and Jenny
was twisting and jumping along with everyone, having the time of her life.P Brad was almost exhausted from trying to
keep up with his hyperactive dance partner, but he wasnt about to let a
first-timer show him up.P Besides, he
was having a blast, too.
The song was drawing to a close, and Jenny decided to show
off a little.P She spun around on her
toes like a gyroscope, and fell into Brads arms on the ending note.P Unfortunately, he wasnt expecting it.P Jenny and Brad stumbled over backwards, and
started a chain reaction, as a dozen students tumbled to the floor like dominoes.P Nobody was hurt, but there were a few
annoyed moans directed at her.P Sorry
about that, she chuckled nervously.P
That move looked so cool on the new Spitney Breers video.P Guess Im just a little overexcited!
Dont sweat it, Jen, laughed Brad, as he and Jenny helped
each other back to their feet.P Youre
doing great for your first dance!P
Although, it might not be a bad idea to take a little break.
Whats the matter, dancing machine, getting tired?P She laughed, then punched the air with her
fist.P Brad, I knew dancing was going
to be fun, but I never realized it was this much fun!P I hope XJ-8 is having as good a time as I
am.P There she is!P Hey sis!P
Jenny waved excitedly.
Brad quickly spotted the nine-foot-tall robot girl lumbering
to the side of the gym.P Drew followed
behind her, walking very awkwardly, with a look of total disgust on his face
and the people around him were roaring with laughter.P Then Brad noticed Drews feet.P
They had been mashed as flat as pancakes.P He looked like he was wearing giant silver swim flippers.
Uh-oh.P I guess
XJ-8 is even less coordinated than Jenny is.P Um, tell you what, Jen what do you say we grab something to
drink first?P Thatll give us a chance
to cool down.P And give Drew a
chance to cool down and lose the duck-feet look.
Well, I suppose I could use a little water in my
radiator, she agreed.P Okay, lets
grab something
Then Jenny froze in her tracks, amazed at who she saw
walking across the dance floor.P Shed
been hearing some weird rumors all night, but shed assumed that there was
nothing to them.P I dont believe
it!P Is that is that you,
Sheldon?P Sheldon?P Dressed up in trendy clothes and a nice
haircut and actually looking cute?P
And whos that with him?
Sheldon gave her a friendly wave, and struggled to control
himself.P Oh, sweet, beautiful Jenny
Im sorry to deceive you like this, my angel, but alls fair in love and war!P He took a deep breath to steady his nerves,
and approached his target.
Good evening, Jenny, Brad.P
I hope youre both enjoying the evenings festivities.P Im very glad we ran into you theres
somebody I want you to meet.P He held
gestured to his lovely date.P Jenny,
Brad, Id like you to meet Helena.
Wow! Brad gasped.P
Youre here with Sheldon?!?P
He instantly felt stupid for saying it, but it seemed like a legitimate
question.P I mean this has got to
be one of the signs of the apocalypse.
Gosh, Sheldon Im really happy for you, Jenny stammered,
still a little stunned.P Its very nice
to meet you, Helena.
Helena squeezed Sheldons arm affectionately.P Sheldon is the most understanding, caring
man Ive ever met in my life.P He makes
me so happy, Jenny.P Then she
gave her a nasty look.P Hes all
mine, and dont you forget it!
Brad and Jenny exchanged a confused glance, thinking the
same thing What was that all about?
Calm down, muffin!P
Sheldon chuckled nervously, and patted Helena on the arm.P Shes heh-heh just a little high-strung
tonight!P Well, Id love to chat some
more, Jenny, but the next song is about to begin, and I feel like getting down.
Sheldon is the most amazing dancer in the whole world,
swooned Helena, fluttering her eyelashes.
Er come on, dumpling, the songs starting!P Sheldon pulled Helena a few feet away, with
a touch of irritation on his face, until they were out of earshot.P For Petes sake, I programmed you to act
like youre crazy about me, but youre overdoing it a little!P Sigh.P
Thats okay, though no harm done.P
So far, everythings working perfectly.P
Did you see the look on her face?P
She was so surprised to see dorky little Sheldon being fawned over by a
gorgeous babe.P Now its time to
initiate Phase Two.
He unbuttoned a shirt button, and reached a hand
inside.P He was wearing a set of long
underwear beneath his clothes very special long underwear.P A little something hed been working on in
his spare time in the garage.P They were
stitched with yards and yards of wiring, thin steel cable, microchips, and
dozens of tiny motors.P Sheldon pulled a
small control knob out of his shirt, and rotated through the settings.
Lets see.P Square
dance nope.P Ballet nope.P Polka nope.P Ah, here we go.P He
twisted the knob, and pressed the activation button.P Funkmaster.
Sheldons arms and legs gently quivered as the techno beat
started thumping from the sound system once again then, to the amazement of
everyone around him, he started swiveling his hips, and pumping his arms, and
all of the sudden he was wiggling and grooving like one of Spitney Breers
background dancers.P The kids gazed in
awe as Sheldon shuffled from side to side, moonwalked, then jumped in the air,
somersaulted backwards, and landed on the floor, doing the splits.
Jenny and Brad stared slack-jawed, as Sheldon grabbed Helena
by the hand and started to spin her in circles, burning up the dance
floor.P People started clapping and
cheering Sheldon on, amazed at the display of high-energy dancing.
Drawn by the commotion, Drew and XJ-8 walked over next to
Brad and Jenny.P Drew whose feet had
returned to normal tapped Brad on the shoulder.P Hey there, guys.P Whats
all the excitement abou- Great Googly Moogly!
Brad couldnt turn his head.P Im seeing it with my own eyes, and I still dont believe it.
Wow, look at Sheldon go, gasped Jenny.P Hes incredible!
An audience had cleared a circled around Sheldon and Helena
by now, clapping and laughing in astonishment.P
Sheldons cheeks were burning red with exhaustion, but hed saved the
best for last.P He started spinning
Helena around his waist; then she looped over his head, and in one motion, she
landed and tossed Sheldon ten feet into the air, spinning like a figure
skater.P His body twisted around half a
dozen times, then he came down and landed next to his partner, striking a
perfect pose though his eyes were spinning around in their sockets.
The students roared with enthusiasm, half-cheering,
half-laughing, nobody believing what theyd just witnessed.P They started shouting and chanting for
him.P Bust a move!P Way to go, Poindexter!P Go Shel-don!P Go Shel-don!
Jenny laughed and grabbed Brad by the arms.P Oh, wow, that looks like so much fun!P Come on, Brad, you dont want to get
out-danced by Sheldon, do you?P Lets
try that!
Lets try wha GAAAAAHH! Jenny pulled Brad off his feet
and swung him around in circles, then planted him back on his feet, and flipped
over his head, just as shed watched Helena do with Sheldon.P As soon as Jennys toes touched the floor
again, she spun Brad around once, and flung him into the air.
Brad twisted like a cheerleaders baton, and sailed thirty
feet upwards, nearly bumping his head against the mirrored disco ball.P The world spun round in frenzied
circles.P He could make out dozens of
faces staring at him, and they started to look a lot closer as he tumbled back
down to earth.P And just when it seemed
like he was about to plaster himself onto the floor, a pair of metallic arms
stretched out and caught him.P Jenny
held him in her arms, with a huge smile on her face.
As soon as his head stopped swimming, Brad punched his fists
into the air.P Woo-hoo!P Awesome!
Silently observing, XJ-8 took note of everyones excitement
over the extreme dance moves.P Analysis:P group opinion seems to encourage this
maneuver.P Heavy motors whined as
she turned and looked down at Drew, who was politely clapping.
That looks like so much fun, her synthesized voice boomed,
mimicking what her big sister had said.P
She reached out with both gargantuan arms
Drew realized what was about to happen.P Oh no, he whimpered.
XJ-8 clamped her massive hands around Drews body and lifted
him off the floor.P Then her torso
started to rotate in place, spinning faster and faster.P Students yelled and cleared out of the way
as XJ-8s upper body disappeared into a purple blur, rotating at high speed
around her hips.P Scraps of paper and
streamers were kicked up as a breeze started to build around her.P Her motors whined with higher and higher
pitch, and the gym floor started to vibrate, even though she was standing
still.
Then in one powerful move, XJ-8 dipped Drew down towards the
floor.P Brad and Jenny were just able to
make out the look of terror on his face before XJ-8 flung her arms upwards,
sending him rocketing towards the ceiling like a missile.P He blasted a hole through the roof of the
gymnasium, and disappeared into the starry sky above.
The students howled with laughter as small pieces of plaster
drifted down from the ceiling.P XJ-8
glanced around at the crowd, and for the first time that evening, the neutral
expression on her large, rounded head was replace by a look of worry.P She leaned over to speak to Jenny.P I do not understand the laughter.P Have I executed the rhythmic maneuver in a
comical manner?
Jenny sighed sadly, and patted her sister on the arm.P Its OK, XJ-8.P Theyre just laughing because um because theyre enjoying
themselves.P Come on, lets walk over
here for a second.
Sheldon watched Jenny and Brad guide XJ-8 away from the
dance floor, while he heaved to get his breath back.P He would call the first field test of the motorized underwear a
complete success, and he could tell that Jenny had been totally impressed with
his dancing.P Hed even heard her use
the word incredible.P Granted, she
wasnt throwing herself at him just yet, but it was only a matter of time.P Shed come around eventually.P Sheldon stared at his fair maiden with
longing eyes, fantasizing about the two of them waltzing together across the
floor
And Helena stared at Jenny too.P The object of Sheldons desire.P
Her Sheldon.P Her robotic
teeth started to grind together, and her hands slowly clenched into shaking
fists.P Grrrrrrrrrr.
Fashionably late and smooth as ever, Don Prima slid his arm
around his lucky date for the evening, as he turned his glistening red sports
car into the school parking lot.P It was
a beautiful night, and he had the top down he enjoyed the wind in his hair,
and it was easier for his many admirers to see him.P The beautiful redhead leaned over to snuggle against Dons
swelling chest.
Wow, your car is amazing, Don, she swooned, just like
you.
Right on both counts, babe, he chuckled.P Picked it up last week just came in from
Europe.P Eight hundred horsepower,
state-of-the-art stereo system, and custom leather seats.P Power and style just like the driver.
Oh, Don! she giggled and bounced.P Youre so dreamy hey, do you hear that?
Suddenly he heard it too.P
It sounded like a scream, far off in the distance, but getting closer in
a hurry.P It didnt seem to be coming
from any particular direction.P It was
almost as if it were coming from directly overhead.P Its probably nothing, babe.P
Now, we were talking about my car
Something fell out of the sky and hit the ground, hard.P The car shuddered, then bounced over some
kind of bump in the pavement with a thump-thump, thump-thump.P Startled, Don slammed on the brakes.
The redhead was shaking with fear in her seat.P Did did we just hit someone?
Don swung his door open and climbed out.P I hope not I just put three coats of wax
on this baby.
He rushed around to the back of his car, looking over the
body, admiring his reflection in the chrome bumpers. He reached into the back
seat and pulled out a polishing rag.P
There didnt seem to be any scratches in the perfect red paint.P But his eye did catch something a small
blob on the middle of his license plate, which read, of course, DONSTER.
He quickly wiped it off with the rag.P It was some kind of strange, soft metallic
substance with a silver-green color.P
Then he heard a soft groan coming from behind him.
Hed just driven over a shallow hole in the middle of the
parking lot, filled with a silvery-green paste.P He could tell, because he saw his cars tire tracks in the paste
paste which was starting to warble, and shimmer, and flow itself up out of
the hole.P With a whine and a schlorrrrp,
it built itself up into humanoid form, and took a few staggering steps, waving
its arms dizzily.
Oh great, sneered Don, its the freak job.P Look, slimeball, if you knocked the wheels
out of alignment on my new car, then youre paying to get it fixed!P He tossed the polishing rag, with the silver
blob, into Drews face.P Here, this is
probably part of your brain, or something.
Gee, thanks ever so much, croaked Drew, pulling the rag
away.P You want this back?
Keep it, Gumby.P
Whats a loser like you doing here tonight, anyway?
Drew slumped his shoulders with a heavy sigh.P You know, Ive been asking myself that
question since I got here, he mumbled.P
Then he tossed the rag aside, and slowly trudged back towards the gym.
Continued in Chapter
Five